Polls

What Will Archbishop John Nienstedt Be Doing A Year From Now?

  • Five to 10. (61%, 17 Votes)
  • Two Words: Sackcloth, ashes. (18%, 5 Votes)
  • Owns, operates "The Reverend," a popular Clergy Wear boutique on Selby Avenue (11%, 3 Votes)
  • Star of TV reality series: This Old Chancery (7%, 2 Votes)
  • Sells property, gives away riches, follows Jesus. (3%, 1 Votes)

Total Voters: 28

Start Date: December 16, 2013 @ 8:31 pm
End Date: No Expiry

What Should Michele Bachmann Do Next?

  • Nothing. Ever again. (44%, 18 Votes)
  • Appearance On Dancing With the Stars, with Hubby Marcus (22%, 9 Votes)
  • Enroll at St Cloud State, Take Classes in American History, Comparative Religion, Accounting (15%, 6 Votes)
  • Penance (10%, 4 Votes)
  • Get her motor runnin' Head out on the highway Lookin' for adventure And whatever comes her way Yeah Darlin' go make it happen Take the world in a love embrace... (5%, 2 Votes)
  • Write Tell-all autobiography: Faking It (5%, 2 Votes)

Total Voters: 41

Start Date: May 29, 2013 @ 6:44 pm
End Date: No Expiry

How Should Minnesota Democrats Deal With Taxing the Rich?

  • Invite them to a meeting of iron ore miners in Ely -- in an alley (43%, 13 Votes)
  • Send them a map of South Dakota along with a Note Saying, "Hope You Enjoy the Corn Palace!" (30%, 9 Votes)
  • Raise their taxes by 1 percent but throw in a one-year pass allowing them to drive their Jaguars in the Sane Lane free of charge (10%, 3 Votes)
  • Send them candy for Valentine's along with a nice note from Mark Dayton asking them to make a small donation to the Widows and Orphans Fund (10%, 3 Votes)
  • Apologize to the Minnesota Chamber of Commerce for Even Mentioning it; Explain They Were Only Kidding (7%, 1 Votes)

Total Voters: 30

Start Date: January 8, 2013 @ 8:09 pm
End Date: No Expiry

Best Reason to Vote Against The Minnesota "Marriage" Amendment

  • The State Has No Right to Tell You Who You Can Marry (46%, 21 Votes)
  • The Archbishop Says Vote FOR It (26%, 12 Votes)
  • Marriage Is Hard Enough Without Michele Bachmann Sticking Her Nose in It (20%, 9 Votes)
  • Will Help Keep Conservatives Out of Gay Bars (9%, 4 Votes)
  • Gives Bald Guys Hope They Might Find True Love Some Day (0%, 0 Votes)

Total Voters: 46

Start Date: September 6, 2012 @ 1:29 pm
End Date: No Expiry

WHY HAVE TWINS FANS TURNED AGAINST JOE MAUER?

  • Twin Cities' Jock-Sniffing Sports Columnists Are Vicious When They Feel Let Down By The Heroes They Formerly Oozed Over (27%, 14 Votes)
  • Fans Are Fickle, with "fickle" coming from the Germanic for "Dumbkopfs" (21%, 11 Votes)
  • Pure Animalistic Tendencies Cause Us to Devour One of Our Own (17%, 9 Votes)
  • Joe is a Lazy, No Good Bonehead and Deserves to be Scorned By Other Lazy No Good Boneheads (17%, 9 Votes)
  • Joe Six-Pack Resents Mauer's Millions (13%, 7 Votes)
  • Mauer Has Become Everyman and Must Suffer for Our Sins (5%, 2 Votes)

Total Voters: 52

Start Date: July 2, 2012 @ 2:26 pm
End Date: No Expiry